This weekend, I found myself saying the same thing to three different friends:
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
How often do we get caught in that loop — Should I stay or should I leave?
Whether it’s a relationship, a job, or even a friendship, our minds love to jump to extremes. We convince ourselves there are only two options: stay and suffer, or walk away completely. But life — and growth — are rarely that black and white.
When something feels uncomfortable, it’s natural to want relief. Our nervous system wants safety, and walking away feels like the quickest way to get it. But sometimes what we’re really trying to escape is the feeling of being overwhelmed, unheard, or stuck — not the situation itself.
So before you make any big decisions, try asking yourself:
- What’s really triggering this feeling?
- Is this discomfort asking me to grow, set a boundary, or make a shift within myself?
- What’s actually in my control?
You might find that what needs to change isn’t always the job, the partner, or the friendship — it’s how much power you give to what’s outside of you.
If someone at work is rude or dismissive, you can’t change them. But you can stop seeking their validation. You can start regulating your response, reclaiming your peace, and choosing how much of your energy they get to occupy.
And in relationships — if you’re not getting the comfort or support you crave, try starting with yourself. The more you meet your own needs, the clearer and calmer you become when asking for what you deserve. From that place, you’ll feel far more grounded in knowing whether to stay or go — not from panic or pain, but from clarity and self-trust.
At TLC Mentor, this is what the “TLC” is all about — learning to Thrive, Live, and Connect from the inside out.
You don’t have to make every decision from fear or finality. You can pause, reflect, and find your way forward with compassion and calm.
If you’re ready to break free from all-or-nothing thinking and reconnect with your inner clarity, explore my free TLC reflection tools and Pintables — designed to help you find peace and perspective when life feels uncertain.
TLC Mentor 